Thursday, December 6, 2012

Because I'm an excellent mother on Tuesdays and every other Sunday.

So Russell barfed at school today (wait for it, that's not the terrible part of the story) so we came home and commenced with the bowl/couch/blanket/ginger ale portion of our day. Because Alice and I were now hostage to "sick day" as well, we decided to find something on Netflix for us all to enjoy
together. Enter "Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale"


The cover art was sort of charming, the kids asked me to play it and the description read "This unusual Christmas story is set in the frozen beauty of Finland where local reindeer herders race to..." yeah, I get it, blah blah blah I push play. Enter adorable boys spying on weird fur coat guy standing on a mountain declaring the spot "a sacred tomb, the grave of SANTA CLAUS!" Wha?! But the spying boys were so cute and even though I thought, "geez, that's weird maybe I should turn this off," suddenly our small hero's were in an library pulling down great old beautiful books covered in red and green illustrations so I cautiously put down the remote only to have the boys open the books to black and white drawings of Santa sitting on a pile of skulls and boiling children in a cauldron!! I am the WORST MOTHER EVER.

All at once I'm sort of laughing/yelling/frantically pushing buttons on the remote trying to distract them and turn it off while hopefully not scaring them even worse with my own crazy eyes... which is how I get back to the description screen and finally see the four very important words I missed at the end of the description, you know the one that said "This unusual Christmas story is set in the frozen beauty of Finland where local reindeer herders race to..."

And I was all blah blah blah?

And it was all : "capture an ancient evil!"

Oh yeah, on Russell's early off barf day I decided to accidentally start a rated R horror movie about Santa for my three and seven year old.

Followed promptly by a four hour brainwashing of GOOD Christmas goodies, including chipmunks, a grinch, and my little ponies decorating cartoon trees with their no hands.

You guys, I'm seriously red in the face even writing this. As red as a naughty child Bad Santa boiled in a cauldron.

1 comment:

Erin said...

"with their no hands" !! I like this so much I can hardly stand it. But seriously, we will never do it quite right. I thought I was safe with Rudolph and then along came the abominable snowman and I had ruined Norah's life for ever and ever and ever amen.