Thursday, November 1, 2012

You get the paint, I’ll get the hose.

I watch Oprah.

I will wait while you roll your eyes enough times to get it out of your system.

I think her series Oprah:The Next Chapter does what her talk show couldn't, it gives you the surface gossip you want and then digs deeper into the lives of the worlds most remarkable people or into world events in a way that can permanently change the way you process an idea.

I am a brat. There is an element of these interviews that validates my bratty-ness :) For instance, I am very selective about what I will let have power over my life. I consciously pick and choose what comes into my sphere, takes my time, and influences the actions of people in this house. I visit Pinterest, but I prefer uploading to Pinterest. I'm a great singer, but unlike devastated American Idol rejects, I don't need to be famous to know I'm a great singer and I intend to sing every day for the rest of my life.

What I feel like I have in common with many of the people Oprah has been visiting this year, is they all seem to take greater risks on a more regular basis, are motivated by genuinely wanting good things for the people they encounter, and possess a hope reservoir that refills itself after moments of indecision, great doubt, or of total failure. I know many people that have these traits, but the person I know who has it the most and in a lot of the the same ways I do, is my son Russell. We share a fierce determination to be the creators of our own universe. To storm around but eventually come full circle, switch gears, and try again. No matter what anyone thinks, we know we were right in the first place, but maybe our approach was wrong? We just do it again, better, to prove ourselves right. It's like a requirement to keep the balance between the two halves of our brain.

(that some doctors have suggested could use couples therapy)

(Left Brain says, "Right brain? When you make our finger poke us in the eye, it makes me feel frustrated. " To which Right Brain responds "Hey do you smell candy? I wonder if we will have pizza for dinner again. I love kittens!)

The time has been quickly approaching when I know I will be opening an art studio for ADHD children in my home, and also heading up my own ADHD/ODD parent support group.  This has the potential to put me in a tricky spot, since my opinions about ADHD are strong, it is a polarizing topic, and I want people to like me.

I would say, ADHD or not, one of the greatest challenges every person that comes to this planet faces, is learning to make peace with people who don't understand your choices. Whether it's the break up of a friendship, a parents disapproval, peers that band together as a group to dislike you for something you did or didn't do, or OTHER parents opinions about your parenting.

In the last four years, I have learned to stop explaining myself. For instance, I am not sorry for the way I loosely practice my religion, and am a little surprised to find myself more devoted to it because of this new freedom. I have learned that I don't mind pushing buttons about things that are important to me, even if it makes people mad or uncomfortable. Those feelings are so much better than indifference!

Anyway, I tell you all this because Lady Gaga said something to Oprah that could literally be the mission statement for how I intend to effect change in area I am the most passionate about; Nurturing and guiding the tender spirits of the next generation of ADHD children. This includes the challenges we face getting them through the tedious routines of our everydays, knowing we are raising future adults who can be successful while embracing themselves for who they are, preparing them to leave our homes with a tool kit of coping skills, and have the vocabulary to understand their own remarkable journey.

Lady Gaga said the following when discussing her song “Born This Way”:

Once I put it out there, the conversation wouldn't stop. Whether this was good, bad, controversial, this is an old topic, this is a new topic, people who have been around; 60 year olds were saying "we dealt with this in the 90's" no we didn't! It's still lingering and the denial of it is more pervasive than ever. The shallow excuses, the efforts to tear away at the center of the heart of something that is is so simple and so pure and so loving, I saw it and I said "I did it." I hit the nerve. You know how you hit the nerve? Because everyone isn't waving a flag that says "I love Gaga" you've got a bunch of "I love her," and you've got a bunch of "I hate her" and "I don't get it" "what is this rubbish?" "explain it to me" and I said "this is it." I hit the nerve.

You have to hit the nerve. If you don't hit the nerve, it's like a volcano. It can't erupt unless something goes haywire. It has to emerge, it has to explode. I'm not interested in making lukewarm pop music, or lukewarm philanthropic efforts, or raising a bunch of money and just throwing it against the wall of an organization that I don't even know about. What I want to do is strike your nerve over, and over, and over again, to get YOU talking, so YOU can be a part of this message that will change everything.

Wow.

Hearing that I just had this “aha!” feeling: I might spend the next few decades of my life throwing paint on the walls and embracing the mess that has to happen in order to get to those volcano’s. The explosions that rip away what we expected from these babies when we carried them in our bellies, so we can look them right in their faces, decide to know who they are while they are still figuring it out, and adjust our plans accordingly.

Now I have to go, my house is a mess! Kidney Stone + Camping + Halloween = Disaster! Wish me luck :)

2 comments:

Kateastrophe said...

I love love love you and your ways. You hit my nerve...in a good way. And I so don't mean that inappropriately. Why do all my comments to you lately seem innappropriate?

Wanna go ride bikes?

Sharron said...

You certainly know how to bring together a lot of big, interesting ideas in one post and make it really understandable, and entertaining! Love the quote from GaGa, and totally agree with it. Nicely done, ma'am...