Friday, July 6, 2012

Where do I begin?


<insert theme music from the twilight zone now>

wait… I can totally type-sing that:

      DO                                  DO                                     DO

do          Do                    do             Do                      do            Do

                      do                                       do                                    do…


That’s a great start! Because I am ALONE. In my HOUSE. The silence that looms does NOT mean my baby is spreading a $20 dollar jug of lotion over her entire body including the exterior of her pants.

Neither does the silence mean my seven year old Golden Trouble jiggled his dad’s office door until the key fell out onto a piece of paper for sliding out under the door like a freaking spy movie so he can get a screwdriver to “fix” the alarm clock that is now “Resting In Pieces” alongside the other electronic casualties that are piling up in his fathers computer graveyard in the garage.


They are on a playdate.

I can’t believe this is happening.

I know that probably seems silly, but you guys, JON. He is it. Unless I’m pathetically sucking my teenage cousin into babysitting so we can traipse up to LA for the very sophisticated love affair we have with certain reality tv shows, the machine here is just ol’ me and Jon.

That means a break for me is (drumroll) taking only one kid to the grocery store! Yay! Or taking Russell on my jog through the woods… which by the way, is like accompanying a wild boar into the jungle. Every time I tell him he doesn’t have to go, but he always begs even though he knows I’m pretty merciless. I stick my ear buds in, turn my music up loud, and I GO. Periodically between songs I will become aware of the stick wielding and leaf exploding sounds that accompany what I can only assume is the cheerful uninterrupted chatter of someone I told repeatedly “I am not listening to you,” which is also when I usually take the time to turn and remind him: “Don’t forget! If you can’t keep up, go to the nearest house and tell them you live on Jeronimo.” I think by the scowl and intense hand gestures that accompany his moving lips, this makes him kind of mad. I’m not sure, because by then the next song is already thrumming in my ears, so I smile and wave encouragingly for him to hurry on up.

Ah shucks, I didn’t know where to begin, laundry? Chocolate? Blogging?! Oh, so much good stuff to share… but I spent too much time “composing” music into written word and now it’s time to pick up the squirrels.

On the other hand, look at it again. It’s summer! And that amused me so I’m going to call it time well spent.

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