Thursday, June 21, 2012

Sent From My iPad

Blogging on the iPad is like going to school in my underwear. From the iPad I do not have the luxury of distracting you, or being distracted myself, from the task of writing anything worth reading by <insert jazz hands here> making SLIDESHOWS. Or by using italics instead of ALL CAPS because I still don't know how to do that. 

The thing is, I can't go to my computer right now because there is a half finished post on there I might be tempted to publish. It's magnificent, it's all about reflecting on ADHD and Kindergarten now that we are through our first year and safely into our first week of summer. It's full of hope and wisdom and TIPS! Sorry, let’s say that one more time like a stewardess in first class who wants you to have a nice flight: "here's a few TIPS for sleeping on a plane, darlin! Next thing YOU know, we'll be in HOUSTON!" 

I have never flown first class, but I've always assumed it was full of cheer and fully capitalized destinations when the rest of us are just trying to get to "Houston" for our "Lay Over."

Guys, I can't publish that post today, because I would always know that in the twenty minutes I had been writing it, I was up in arms against my successfully Kindergartened child no less than ten times. Russell painted his sister's face with Glossy Red Enamel for WOOD or METAL. It was quiet for so long I finally searched him out to find him "making art" with a forbidden pile of DEAD BEE'S falling into the fireplace from the hive we've been battling in the chimney for days. Then of course, later he GLUED a piece of paper directly to the table because he was going to write instructions on it for how to set a place setting.  And that's not even the annoying part! He parrots his now "Three and Ferocious" little sister, or disagrees with her for no reason, the way you and I breath. I don't blame her, but she has what can only be called a "Pterodactyl" like shriek that is truly prehistoric and can instantly make the atoms in my body attack each other. 

I should mention this was all done on the same day that Russell woke Jon up at 6am to show him the PANCAKES he was making in the kitchen by having poured an entire costco size package of bisquik into several bowls and filled them with water. The cheerfulness and optimism that shines out of his face when he presents these moments is the most baffling part of all.

It's not like we don't have stuff to do here, I just wanted ONE summer day to pay some bills online, send Norah her unwrapped bday present from Amazon with free two day shipping, and maybe write one itty bitty blog post about being a mom, and maybe not include any pictures or quips that make me seem like I am better at it then I think I am. 

All. I. Ask... (famous last words indeed) is that you play with the ONE THOUSAND FORTY Lincoln Logs your father and I just got you for your birthday. And please don't jimmy open the lock on the door that goes into the garage! You know, since you're SEVEN. 

Turd.

Sigh. We did have a successful year and we ALL worked our tails off to get him to the other side of that life event, not just surviving, but thriving. I will post it later because My God, I love that child like he is the force that brings oxygen to my lungs, but tonight I want to be honest.

I feel like I spin my wheels, and before I end each day I feel overwhelmed by how hard my legs can peddle and yet how many important things I feel like I am letting slip through the cracks. So many people I want to be more supportive of, so many opportunities just inches from my outstretched hand, unfulfilled potential and no hope of getting today back or making any of those things happen.

Which is why, sometimes Russell is the only person on the planet who can make me feel better. You see, I was driving away from the Home Depot in a last ditch attempt to end the day on a high note by picking some flowers for potting in our front yard. It went about as well as an outing with a Russell and an Alice can go and as we headed home with the windows down (ps don't tell your children why potting soil smells like that if you don't want them to laugh like maniacs all the way home), well I was preparing to turn right when the traffic began to flow. I found myself with the briefest moment to close my eyes against my propped arm in the window and breath out the negative energy I don't want in my lungs, when suddenly a brand new jacked up FORD truck honked it's horn a few feet from my face. It scared me and my eyes flew open to see the guys in the truck and the teenagers by the crosswalk pointing and laughing at the way it had startled me.

It made me cry.

I don't care, it startled and embarrassed me. It was weird and I'm just tired! I picked up Jon from work, I took them all home, I ran to the store for cat food and stayed for forty minutes because I couldn't remember what else I was supposed to get and finally came home to the children running to the door for the ice cream I repeatedly promised I would get if they were good at Home Depot and ate all their food without complaining which, for the first time in their lives, they had done. And I forgot the ice cream. 

Which is when I sat down on the stairs and Russell told me a long story, which involved several quiz sections to make sure I was l listening, about "what's more important? Ice cream, or calling the fire department if your house is on fire?" he asked me if I was doing my best, he asked me if I was making the important things the MOST important. 

He asked me how he could help.  

You remember the part where he is still SEVEN?

Turd. DSC_0124 (3)

 

:)

3 comments:

Sharron said...

i LOVE that kid. maybe you need to send him and Baby Crockett out here to the wild frontier. so he can glue stuff to my table and make copious quantities of pancakes. i invented a barrier cream i use on my hands in the studio before i paint so toxic stuff can't absorb. we can dip Baby Crockett in it every morning. and then make them both shovel piles of the stuff they think is so funny that's in potting soil~

Sylvia said...

I laughed my head off at your email. Sorry. I think it was supposed to be serious, but couldn't help it. I really feel for you.

Erin said...

Norah got her awesome present from her awesome aunt Alissa and once I manage to get to the store to fill them with helium, it's going to be amazing. And you know what? If they aren't filled until August, it will still be awesome. And if the "only" thing you do this summer is be there for Russell and Alice, you totally win. Love you!