Tuesday, January 3, 2012

YEAH! Of Sunshine!

I have a new blog address! Well, it’s not new, as much as improved. Or shorter. You can now get to this site using:

Of Sunshine Dot Com

ofsunshine.com

OF(nospaces)SUNSHINE(dot)COM!!

No, you don’t need to update anything to get here, and you’re welcome to keep using lissaraeofsunshine.com since I own them both and they both point here. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner! And despite my contact cards being adorable, I am so glad I don’t have to explain the mouthful “lissaraeofsunshine.com” anymore.

And that it was available!

Merry Christmas to me from the World Wide Web.

:)

Also, I’ve been meaning to tell you guys (you can read this next part in a spoiled valley girl accent, or a smug slow hippy vibe, it works wither way)

My life is perfect.

I run 6 miles everyday.

I only eat, like, totally organic food.

My children are never rude and only ever use there inside voices.

My sweat doesn’t stink anymore. In fact I’ve had offers to create my own perfume line WITH my actual armpits.

I can type in the air and my new phone can sense my gestures from across the room and, when I nod my head, send emails directly to Oprah.

Jon and I have been taking Samba lessons and are having the BEST TIME EVER. In fact, more fun than you have ever had in your entire life.

Oh, and all my undesirable hair follicles closed up and I don’t have to shave my legs anymore.

(you may now return to whatever my voice usually sounds like in your head)

Because only 25% of that is true, and you have to mix the words around a little to even get that. Instead read:

There are voices inside my head, I can eat more food than you, my children stink, Jon and I have been taking lesson on how to send rude gestures from across the room, and I don’t shave my legs anymore.

I tell you this, because this study conducted by some smarties at Stanford, has declared that facebook is making people UNHAPPY! Apparently, as we cruise the internet in our pajama’s and face creams before we call it a night, that is the moment we decide to look down and compare our entire lives with the perfectly manicured family portraits of someone we sort of know, or used to date, or that one girl who is ALWAYS out on the town, sending a live stream of photos of herself, probably with the celebrity she just met at the airport on the way back from her quick “girls weekend getaway” to Fiji.

Or… or… there are those (never me) who say things they shouldn’t (a little religious banter anyone?), or take pictures of things they shouldn’t (not that this would be worthy of a scandalous case for Judge Judy, but my sister STILL has a picture tagged of me from her college graduation that someone took downhill from us, so we are already getting the Triple Chin Look Down, but then they cropped it so you can’t see my pregnant belly!), and let’s just not mention the “friends” who always write on your wall as if they were in a gas station bathroom instead of in a forum you share with your GRANDMA.

But still, it bummed me out! I sort of like facebook when they aren’t changing it every five minutes, you know, forcing me to take a course down at the community center just to be able to find my own homepage again. And I used to like the facebook stalking! Now I just feel like facebook is that friend who I told I had a little crush on Hugh Jackman, and the next time they came over they brought me naked pictures of him.

(I should clarify that never really happened, but if it did, I would probably be appalled. just leave them on the table and get out. you’re disgusting.)

It’s too much, Facebook! I don’t need to know the moment one my friends “like’s” something one of their friends said. Or that 15 minutes ago Joe was at church, but for some reason now he’s at the bar. I think moving from the Holy Spirit to just plain SPIRITS is a personal choice that should be left in the cab ride home.

All I’m really trying to say here is, if facebook is getting you down, just head over to ofsunshine.com, where the funny lady will tell you all about where the sun shines.

And also,

where it does not.

:)

9 comments:

Lorraine said...

whatever, you totally untagged yourself.

AND I'M FAT IN MY GRADUATION PICTURES TOO, ALL OF THEM, DOWNHILL OR NOT, AND I WASN'T EVEN PREGNANT. (hurray for studious celibacy!)

But, I graduated. Mostly thanks to Beto's. And Wendy's. God Bless Wendy's. And Red Bull.

Alissa Rae King said...

Oh my gosh, now I want to write a blog post called "hurray for studious celibacy!"

Hmph, but then I might be more worried more about the traffic that would bring me than people looking for "naked hugh jackman"

either way everyone is going to feel tricked.

Andrea said...

Congratulations on your new (old) blog!! Love ya :)

Zac Coberly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jes Myrick said...

Oh my gosh, you are one of the funniest people I know. I just read this whole post out loud to Steve as he works studiously on his computer. Not at being celibate. He is strictly against that. It was even funnier the second time out loud.

Christy said...

Alissa,

You crack me up... I actually Laughed Out Loud :)

Jack Major said...

You're so awesome I love you! lol

Alissa Rae King said...

Hey, Jes! Is he still there? Tell him I said "Hello Steve! Sorry you had to hear about my armpits!"

:)

Alissa Rae King said...

From Facebook (I'm just going to start pasting these over from now so my clever friends don't get lost in the insanity that is my facebook wall :)

Lillian Kaye Brough

Now I think I ought to avoid facebook because I am guilty of being that "perfect person" that you speak of that always posts perfect stuff and great pictures of my travels to foreign lands... nope not really me. But I loved this post!
Tuesday at 2:55pm · Like

Oc BellaMama

Love the post you r too funny! xoxo
Tuesday at 5:36pm · Like

Alissa King

Me to, Lillian! Don't you know I went to Paris last year? Sorry, I mean Perris. It's an hour inland, has a train museum and the best quesadilla EVER. :)