Sunday, December 4, 2011

Whatever you do…

…do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try and console Rainbow Brite.


Otherwise known in our house as Alice Jean King.

If she is mad at you, don’t tell her you’re sorry. If she falls down, do not ask her where it hurts. Most importantly, never try to hug her if there are tears of any kind present. My fat pink baby/lean pink toddler machine/big girl is THREE today! That means, starting about a week ago, she doesn’t need your pity.

I am so not kidding.

“don’t TOUCH me”

“Go. Way.”

“No. WOOK. At! Me!”

So what’s a mom to do when a baby, I mean a big girl, (with delicious ham hock thighs) plays too hard with the cat and gets a little catty whomp?

Something else!

You have to sit about a foot away, and pretend you have a minor injury of some kind like a splinter, or make your fists into mouthy hand puppets and let them begin some unrelated banter about goldfish and the cost of gas these days.

In about thirty seconds, with giant tears still perched for take off down already wet fat cheeks, she will be chatting and climbing into the human chair I used to call my lap.

Because, according to most three year olds, no idea is worth having if it isn’t your idea.

And I don’t care, because I. LOVE. HER. And her reddy brown hair, and her perfect little nose, and her weirdy weird BRAIN.

Happy Birthday to the best Daughter this mother could ever ask for!!

(even if you were mostly your fathers idea…)


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(oh! before I forget, it’s not a costume, it’s better! I got this fantastic apron from Flirty and Fun Aprons by Shawna, you should check it out. She made me a custom order for a toddler, saved me a few bucks, and the quality is top notch! I think this apron is going to see some life in the next few years :)


Jack Major said...

Aren't you proud you made such an epic creature.

Aunt Beth said...

Happy b day little Alice I love you1!!!!

Erin said...

I'm going to have to start planning our California trips around SYTYCD AND your children's birthdays because I don't know if I can bare to miss another one! She makes me want to squeeze her just so she will tell me to GO. WAY!
Also, my all time favorite Alice scolding was directed toward Norah, who was told to "DON'T SEE ME, BABY!"

Jes Myrick said...

Three! No No NO! There's no way. Well I guess yeah that's right. Man where has the time gone.. What a colorful fun filled day that must have been. LOVE her outfit. Love that red-brown hair, and oh those curls! When Carly gets hurt she also needs her time. Well hurt, mad, mildly annoyed, tired. My favorite so very irritating statement right now is "Just let me breath" with a talk to the hand gesture in the air. Ahh Girls.

jordan.spain said...

Could you please plan a party for me? Seriously. What a fun birthday party!!! I'm going to need some of that mommy creativity when I start having parties for my little on.

jordan.spain said...


Andrea said...

What a fantastic birthday party!! Happy Birthday Alice (ask your mom what I sent you for your birthday this year). xoxo