Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Son of a… oh wait. That’s me.

Moving is LAME.

It just is. And no matter how awesome your life is, the total disassembly of all the pieces of it so you can relocate it across town IS. LAME.

That being said, lately I find myself accidently getting a little giggly from the awesomeness of the tree house. Like, I wake up, and the sun is streaming in through the trees, and I giggle myself awake.

Sure, once I’m awake the giggling dives under one of the many rude “to do” lists that seem to menace me from every corner…

…but I know it’s there…


Unfortunately, with regular life returning, the regular problems are right behind. Like the one where your kid makes you question why you wanted to have a BABY SHOWER. A party. To celebrate that you are willingly turning over the success or failure of your life to someone that poops in their pants.

Case in point, Russell has a best friend over here in our new city. A nice wild best friend, and together they literally bring out the BEST and the WORST and the WEIRDEST in each other. And this boys parents? Should be Sainted for continuing to let Russell hang around their shining boy when all they want to do together is make weapons out of anything that remotely resembles a gun or a sword, and then say the word diaper a thousand times.

Oh my gosh, I like that family.

Anyway, so, ugh, how do I tell you this? So, Russell has been having a hard time. Double time. With the move, the schedule of kindergarten, the fact that it’s pitch black by FIVE (don’t get me started on daylight savings time, it hasn’t even happened yet! agh!), and don’t forget that he is trying to keep up with growing into the fantastic brain and body that I adore despite the smell.  

So, not knowing which way is up, Russell began coming home with uneaten lunch and dramatic tales of his friend throwing it on the ground. Day after day. If I can nutshell this for you, there was some denial, some confessing, some apologizing, and a lot of parent’s trying to figure how to glue this puzzle together considering it was all covered with kid slime.

Then, tonight, as I was tucking my weirdo into his covers after one of the best days he has had in months, I get inspired to ask him if anyone threw his lunch on the ground. I have no idea why I asked. You see, I was AT school today. ALL DAY. I sat as his miniature table and ate a granola bar while I quietly lamented all the chocolate milk and waffles with big packets of syrup they were serving kindergarteners at noon. Brain food for beautiful little brains that are learning how to read and write their own names in about half an hour. I don’t care what it makes you think of me, it makes me want to cry.

So, you want to know what my protein fed, organic milk drinking child says to me?

“Well, I don’t want my friend to get a bare butt spank, but… yes, he did, and I don’t know why! I thought we were friends!”

Which is when he really looks at my face. Based on the look he see’s there, I see him begin to go back through the day until the knowledge dawns on him that I was THERE. That he is so freaking busted over something SO TOTALLY LAME.

I had his little bum in the car and on the way over for a big fat apology before you could say uh-oh. And the beans, they did SPILL on the way over. Standing on the doorstep, I felt like such a schmuck! And when our friends came outside, it’s like we were just sort of stuck there watching the circus of these two kids who kind of try to explain why they are lying or saying they did something they didn’t, apologizing and forgiving in hot second, then running off to lock me out of my car and laugh like hyena’s.

I guess it’s lucky for them that I really like hyena’s.



Kateastrophe said...

I love the kind of parent you are. That is all. Except it's not...but I'm sort of tired.

Lorraine said...

I don't know if you remember, but I totally used to do stuff like this too. Lie for absolutely no reason, and I still don't know what my motiviation is.

the good news is, I grew out of it, except that I can be a really good liar when absolutely necessary, such as white lies "no, that dress looks GREAT on you!" and "what surprise birthday??"

You are a great mom.