Friday, November 18, 2011

Taking a Paige out of 1994…

So, you know how teenagers LOVE to be featured on their cousins Mommy Blog? Well, they totally do.

Especially if you threw them a 1994 themed birthday party.

And you have pictures.

First, I have to say it’s both flattering and insulting that my teenage cousins always tell me I don’t “act as old as I am.” Unfortunately, every once in a while my age really, really, shows it’s crows feet. Like when Paige showed up for her party with her boyfriend and sister and had no idea what I was talking about when I tried to explain our costumes.

Alice was Nancy Kerrigan with a bandaged knee, I was Tanya Harding (complete with one untied shoelace), and Russell was my trailer trash husband that smashed Nancy’s knee before the Olympics.

I also didn’t prepare her that we would dressing up like current events of 1994. Note to self: warn teenagers when costumes or wigs are involved or they will pretend they don’t know you, even if you are the only people in the room.

It’s all good, when my dad got here he laughed at tiny Nancy Kerrigan, and when cousins Frank and Jack showed up at least one of them knew why I had written RIP Kurt Cobain on all the tombstone candy bags. Sigh, I don’t just know this stuff happened, I remember it all. I was, like, 15.

Ouch :)

You guys, I LOVE PAIGE. Yes, enough to embarrass her this much. Here are your pictures…


Hey, I wasn’t going to BUY ice skater outfits, but I also don’t have any ruffle swimsuits to wear with tights like Alice! I’m just impressed I own anything with that many sequins. Because my shirt is the thing I should be worried about in that picture…


… if you don’t know what that sign is about, than I am older than you. A lot.


Yes, “Nancy” is wearing blue eye shadow, but she did NOT want me to put those band aids on her knee at first. We made a trade, eye shadow for dignity.


Did I forget to mention some of my signs were totally rude? I was trying to make teenagers laugh! They like things that are inappropriate. This sign is because 1994 was the first deaf Miss America. Hey, I know, I crossed a line, but I think this made them smirk so I’m going to own the victory.


That’s my husband Mr. Harding, with 94 pieces of 90’s candy and our RIP Kurt Cobain bags. I probably crossed line there too, but grunge rockers are probably not reading this blog so I think I’m safe.


That sign is totally nice! Because Russell made it. I continued to make rude ones…


Ronald Regan announces he has Alzheimer's


Cananda makes the obvious official


Russia and America agree to stop pointing nuclear weapons at each other “just because”


Someone BURNED DOWN a high school in BURNSVILLE. I am not making this up.


The cakes represent the first successfully cloned cells! But if you look close, one is, um, a little off. You know, to represent why all the cloned sheep wouldn’t live very long. This was Lorraine’s idea. She gets me.

Oh! And I didn’t get a picture of Jon in his costume, but he was the perfect guy to wear this belt, because in 1994 George Foreman became the OLDEST heavy weight champion in history. So the opposite of this:


Happy Birthday, Paige! WE. LOVE. YOU. 

Now, do you forgive me? :)


Lorraine said...

This is so beyond awesome. SO BEYOND AWESOME.

I can't believe how many things happened in 1994! That I REMEMBER!! I was 8!

My poor conservative AND grunge husband will be so offended by the fact that you both made fun of Kurt Cobain, and Ronald Reagan at the same party. Well done, sister.

LM said...

You talk of being old...I was 24 in 1994, and had been married for two years!

Alissa Rae King said...

I love it when I see I have an LM comment, you always crack me up!

And Lorraine, you tell that man of yours that I think Kurt would appreciate my irreverence in the quest to amuse a "teen spirit."

Except now I am amused.