Friday, September 9, 2011

Best Post of ALL TIME

I might toss and turn about that title a little, but I’m too busy feeling clever to worry much about it. You guys! There are, ok, (breath, alissa) there are a couple things right now that are BLOWING my mind. The first is the cover of the fall issue of Exponent II --->


Sorry non-mormonites. That probably just made you go “huh?”

Don’t feel left out, all you’re missing is the feeling of trying to decide if that cover makes you uncomfortable or not.

Isn’t she beautiful? I know that woman. I am that woman. I love it so much, for all the things it says that I never seem quite able to articulate. Wearing your religion, hiding it, showing it. It could only be improved for me if the lady were holding a beer in one hand and blogging with the other.

Item Number Two:

My “kindy-gardener”. He is like a tiny human filled with magic and angst, shaken, not stirred, and ALL MINE. I volunteered at his school yesterday. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to make being a mom my job, job. Is it controversial to say that? I feel like if I told everyone “I LOVE WORKING AT LADY FOOT LOCKER!” a person could just smile and keep walking, but somehow saying “I LOVE BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM!” translates into, “Shouldn’t we ALL?!”

I’ve just never really been good at anything before, at least not anything that actually has the potential to contribute back to society. So yeah, I love it :)

(for today, at least)

I’m also grateful for medication, because after spending “day two” there, I see how the rowdy kids are making their first impressions on the teacher, and, well? I’m just glad he has a chance to make a different kind of impression for a minute. I know medicine is a careful dance, but as much as I despise giving him that little pill, today I said grateful prayers about it. Sure his teacher is not getting to meet the full blown persona that is RUSSELL!! but he also doesn’t have to meet the full blown persona of TEACHER who has 33 other kids to teach and will put you in time out repeatedly because, honestly, what choice does she have? He gets a chance to just like her, because he can stay in his chair and color, and she tells him it’s nice.

Item Number Three:

GOLD COINS. gold coins. Gold Coins. GOLD COINS!!!! I will tell you about it in the next post. That’s right, it is so mind blowing it get’s it’s own post. This is not an exaggeration.

Last, but certainly not least:

All Time.

I read something the other day that was smart. SMRT. Like, not usually the kind of thing I dive into since it had scripture references (yeah, more then one), and alluded to other smart things assuming you knew what they were talking about, but the title of this grabbed me, and all of sudden I was at the end if it, and my brain is now different. It should have had a warning at the top.

It’s from the blog associated with the magazine at the top of this post. Yeah, I guess it’s a Mormon thing, but also, it’s totally not. Sometimes I look at all the religions around me and I feel like they are just different outfits for people to wear, or wrap around themselves, so they can express this thing, this connection, this information they hold that has no words in any earthly language.

When I read this post, I had one of those feelings where something besides just the intelligence I carry in my head said “yes. that is the thing you were looking for.”

Here is the link to the post, (if you haven’t already wandered to the fridge and off to find your remote, that is)…

And here is what I heard:

Eternity isn’t from this point forward. It is ALL TIME. According to the Mormon religion, by getting married in the Temple, and being a child of Temple Parents, I am sealed to my family for all time and eternity, which now I’m understanding would include before I ever met them.

According to how I feel, God or the Universe wants me to keep my family BEFORE, after, and during this moment, simply because we happened. When I die, it’s not that everything goes away, it’s more like everything comes all together. All time.

Even though the blog post up there is supposed to be an intellectual Mormon conversation about what happens after we die, I feel this strange anchoring comfort that what has been done here, my family I have made, they cannot be undone. Even when things do become undone. I like the reference to that scripture about God weeping, because it is sad. The suffering we are capable of withstanding is sad!

And I guess it feeds into this idea I already believe, and have been thrashing out on my own here, which is a determination to find. my. joy. now.

I am already in my All Time and Eternity.

I don’t want to wait until I die and only examine my life from some other side. I want to be grateful NOW. I want be part of something bigger than myself today. I want to pay back into my life all the time, and I want to think that someone like Jesus could watch me flop around on the ground, and be proud of the way I fight for it, right before he scoops me back into the water.

And now brain is tired and wants to go watch Top Chef: Just Desserts.

Gosh I hope this post still makes sense tomorrow. Sorry(ish) for the rant. Good night!


Tara said...

Loved this post. Made me think. And I dig it when you mention Mormonism because I don't know that much about it and I think you do a great job giving me the flavor without all the jargon.

Eternity. Yup.

Alissa Rae King said...

Flavor! What a good word for it, I hate it when someone ruins a meal (or a religion) by giving you way too much information about what's on your plate. Just let me enjoy my food!

Plus, you know, jargon/details... Not this girls specialty...

Thanks for the nice comment, Tara :)

Kateastrophe said...

How I love you and your complicated yet simple mind. It's like I'm reading my own brain!

And for the record this was a way better spiritual lesson than I got in RS today. Utter disaster.

Also an utter disaster? My grammar.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading your comments. I have to teach this very difficult lesson, and was worried that it would be boring. Your insight has helped me to see that I will be able to teach with a different perspective and insight. If each of us had that same desire, what would this mortal life be like? Hmnnnnnnnnn Very interesting thought and definately NOT boring. Bravi!!!!