Sunday, July 17, 2011

My husband is going to be furious when he reads this…

So, I had to leave the house a couple times today and every time I came home I gave Jon a serious looking over, even going so far as hugging him just to see if I could SMELL it on him… but he’s been a rock! 

IT would be technology. I have these fits every once in a while where we lock up all the gadgets, computers, tv’s, laptops, and other assorted handheld gizmo’s. These fits are usually inspired when I wake up and every piece of technology we own is running at full speed before 8 am and I’m cranky because I stayed up too late watching reruns of So You Think You Can




And that is exactly what happened yesterday morning.

YIKES! What was that?

I thought I just heard someone in the garage. Thank goodness it was only the change falling out of pockets in the dryer and possibly ruining it! You know, instead of Jon getting back from his bike ride with Russell and finding me on the computer and having it ruin, like, my marriage. Don’t worry, on my way back here I locked all the doors to buy myself time to shut off the computer, spray some air freshener and get a piece of gum if they come back early.

So anyway, NO TECHNOLOGY. One week. And as I lay there yesterday morning and thought of all the reasons that is IMPOSSIBLE, it became clear to me that only means it is mandatory, and actually quite possible.

I know as I sit here typing secret blog posts Jon will probably see at work tomorrow, that I sound like a loon. And one of those moms. I know what you think, I even grew up with a few kids who weren’t allowed to watch tv, and besides being able to skip a rock on a lake for a hundred miles or play the violin at Carnage hall before they were 12, I didn’t really see the benefit to being kept away from the thing.

I guess for me, I just want to know we can do it. We are a technology family. We make our living from computers, Jon’s a software engineer, I have my blog and etsy shop, I do all my photo’s on here, and I stalk all my friends on facebook so I always know what Valeri is having for dinner (and can I please have some?)

When we did this last time our motto became “We don’t work for technology, Technology works for us” and I guess the best way to say it, is that I was starting to feel “employed” again.

Not to mention what I call my “Angry Birds” machine, and Jon calls an iPad? Anyway, Jon and I have spent an embarrassing number of nights sitting side by side, “watching” a show “together” while we surf the web and/or explode green pigs. And we have had the dumbest recurring fight you have ever heard about how Jon can’t even hold the darn thing, even if it’s completely off and closed, without me feeling like he’s not really listening to me.

All I want to do is talk about my feelings endlessly, is that so hard?

And he says he thought that’s why I have a blog.

And I say, don’t worry, I will go and blog about this conversation right now.

And he says no. stop. you can’t…

…but he’s trailing off because he’s already gazing at his closed iPad imagining all the wonderful things that are happening on the internet without him.

Gosh, I’m pretty rude for a girl who’s sneaking a blog post on the computer right now. That’s because:




I couldn’t hard boil EGGS this morning! I had to call my dad because I use the internet like it’s actually my brain, and I use tv like xanex because it makes me feel quiet, and between the two, I don’t have to think about all the gigantic looming events like our pending home renovation, and the move, adjusting to the new house and Russell starting school, and all the other good life stressors because “My Strange Addiction” is on and, whoa, IS THAT WOMAN EATING HER SCABS?! I want to turn it off but I CAN’T.

Gross. Sorry. Anyway, Jon has been very good today but tomorrow he gets to go to work, check his email, read the news and do his job, but after I post this, I really will turn of the computer and unplug it for the rest of the week. Before I do, while we are still only about 48 hours in to it, I just wanted to check in and tell you: we don’t know what to do with ourselves!

It’s quite pathetic.

So we’ve sort of, well, we’ve gone on walks, we’ve played some board games, we’ve gone to the beach and the park, we have been reading every kids book we own to Alice, stuff we haven’t opened for years, and just now Jon and Russell left the house on their bikes, and as they drove off, I stood out there waving like a dope who didn’t have anything else to do when I heard Jon say to Russell:

“Listen to me, we are going to the park by riding past the river, but we aren’t going to stop and throw rocks in until we are on our way back, okay?”

I have a notepad by my computer where I am jotting down things I need to address when I turn my computer back on in a week, but I have to say after hearing stuff like that, I am going to be giving that list a long hard look. I want to spend my time like I would my money, and really get what I want the most. 

Busted!! They’re back! Shhhh!!

(See you in a week!)

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