Thursday, June 16, 2011

I’ve been holding out.

So, you know how I pretty much share every thought that comes into my head on this here blog? Well, even though I may have let a few clues drop that we might be buying a house this summer, I may have forgotten to mention that we will actually be buying that house rather soon.

As in tomorrow.



Hey, I’ve had some pretty good reasons to hold back the details! Like the fact that it’s a short sale and we’ve had our offer in since January. Putting these things in the back of your mind is the only way to survive the suspense!

Also, in the master bedroom there is a bathtub in the floor. And it’s filled with “antique” soda cans and polyester clothing. Actually, the whole house is. You know when you see someone so beautiful they should be a movie star? Well, when we walked in this house we knew it should be on tv.

On one of those documentary series about hoarders.

That’s right, this house could be FAMOUS. And that’s not even why we like it! Once we found our way around the racks of clothing and through the maze created by more than 30 pinball machines and 15 juke boxes, what we found are bones even a pirate could admire!

I should back up. If you don’t happen to be one of the people whose ear I have chewed off about our funny hoarded house, than I will try and give you a quick nutshell version:

February 2009

While at the pediatricians office for a check up on my newborn (wasn’t that just yesterday?) I met a wonderful couple, and like a single girl at a bar instead of a married woman with a baby, I asked them for their number. Then lost it! For six months.

Then found it! They didn’t even mock me a little when I called them after all that time, and promptly invited us over, which is how we found great friends AND the 2 square miles of “forest” area in Orange County.

December 2011

We’ve been watching the listings for two years, and we’ve been in every house remotely interesting with no temptation to bite. Then we noticed this listing which we had somehow been missing. It had one lonely picture of the garage and had been on the market for almost a year! We tried to get a showing.

And tried.


Finally, I went around my agent and put a note in the mailbox with a picture of our family begging for a showing. And it worked! We were the first ones in.

Maybe even the first people to enter in years.

I’m not sure if you could call it love at first sight since I actually couldn’t get out of there fast enough, so I was pretty confused when Jon and I got back in the car and both exclaimed “Can you believe that?!” but meaning two totally different things. With his perspective I returned to the pictures I had taken, and when I couldn’t smell the place, I began to see what he was talking about.

January 2011

So we put in our offer.



blah blah blah

February 2011

After firing realtors and almost committing murder we found ourselves in 2nd position behind “The Junipers”

(I can not repeat the terrible things we said about people we’ve never even met. This is a family show.)

and then we waited.

and waited.

and waited.

walked through about 30 more houses.

waited some more.

April 2011

Finally! “The Junipers” were in a horrible accident involving sharks, electrical tape, and fire ants. And no one survived!

That is to say they weren’t honest on their application and were trying to buy this as a rental home, with primary residence funding, and got booted out of the top spot. I like my version better.

Oh, and now we are in the front seat of this bus! Which isn’t as fun as it sounds since this house is not getting any cleaner from this angle. 

May 2011

Rhymes with Inspector.

repeat three times

June 2011

Wow, slow down there! We’ve only had 6 months to think this over!

June 2011

Yeah, there’s no more months, this is the big one!

June 2011

What? We have to pay for some termite work before they approve the loan? Give us a minute... because the minute you write that first check… well, it’s been almost like a dream (if dreams smell like old newspapers and need a new porch). Actually involving our real live money seems so strange.

June 2011

We wrote the check.

The repairs were done.

And most significantly, after months of zero progress, home owner Barbara has suddenly allowed our realtors to hire movers and they removed about 75% of her items yesterday, and will be finished by the end of next week!

(I have no idea how they managed it, but I suspect Oprah had to be involved, or at least a part of the National Guard)


In the morning, I am driving over to the DMV to take the written test and finally get my California Drivers License (don’t yell at me, it’s been a busy couple of years), and then I’m using it to drive over to the realtors office. And then I’m going to buy the house you are about to see.


Pray for us. And send us money. We will need lots of both.

IMG_2949 (Large)

(click the picture to be directed to the online album. if you’re afraid, just think what I think: “wow! these are going to make excellent ‘before’ pictures someday!”)


Andrea said...

Yea!!! I am so happy for you four!!! Better get those elbows greased, it looks like an awesome crazy ride!!! Congratulations! I can't wait to camp in your forest :)

Tara said...

Holy (bad word).

I don't even know what to say.

I can totally see the potential . . . dimly.

You're very brave.

I should probably send you some cleaning products and a mask. And an extra dose of sanity. And two leashes, so you don't lose the children in all of that.

Ashley Farrell said...

Congrats! It will be fabulous once you unleash your wonderful, creative makeover skills on it. And um, that property looks amazing!! I definitely did not know anything like that was hiding in orange county!

Taryn said...

Alissa, I'm jealous! The house has fantastic space that you can do so much with! What a great yard too! What an amazing place for your kids to grow up in! A lot of memories are just waiting to be made in that house/magical yard. So exciting! Congratulations, and good luck with everything!