Sunday, May 8, 2011

Did I say bad mom?

I meant bad granddaughter.

In the last post I may have mentioned that I am going to be writing a wicked post for Mothers Day because I’m a bad mom… but this post isn’t about being a mom.

This post is about my Grandma Sylvia.

She won’t mind that it’s a little wicked because being “a little wicked” is genetic, and I think that I may have gotten my “little wicked” from her. In fact, I always knew something particularly delicious was happening when I heard my pretty and proper grandma engage in what my family calls “evil laughter.” It’s probably more like an evil chuckle, which honestly? While it doesn’t have the “wow” factor of Maleficent like cackling, the right kind of evil chuckle is so much worse.

Alice has it, too. In fact, they both have the ability to be very amused by themselves without ever even saying a word… you can simply see it in the glint of their eyes.

My grandmother was voted The Best Dressed Woman of Glendale, California in the 1960’s. My mother tells me stories of how she used to hope her mother would stop by her school because all the other little girls would crowd around and tell her how beautiful her mom was after she left. She also tells a great story about driving around town, while in the back of their double wide Buick, imagining that the people they drove by were looking at them, thinking there must be very important people in that car.

I don’t know what that has to do with my grandma, but maybe it helps you continue to trace the line of genetics that allows me to have an over abundance of a self amusement.

My Grandmother is THE youngest surviving daughter of a Utah Pioneer. There are still quite a few daughters of a daughter… but her father came across the plains with his lean, two year old legs dangling off the back of one of the last wagons heading west before the trains came in. Then he went on to grow up and have TWENTY children! I have to say, I’m so glad he stuck with it since my Grandma showed up toward the end there.

She has many wonderful and harrowing stories of her days in Washington DC as a young married woman, and later traveling the world with my Grandpa Phil, who had a wicked glint of his own along with a penchant for eating any disgusting thing he could get his hands on to freak out his daughters, and telling bad jokes. And, I may be remembering this wrong, but he used to give my grandma boots (or shoes?) full of cash around Christmas for her weekly trips to the salon. That’s why she always looked so good! If I’m a good mom, maybe I’ll get some “shoes” tomorrow!

I’m looking at you, Jon.

She had a black eye last week! My 80 something year old grandma had a SHINER! That’s a little startling, but I was even more shocked to find out it was her first one. Ever! How do you survive 19 siblings with no black eyes? I have a black eye right now and my siblings aren’t even in the same state.

Fortunately I was able to look it up on the news and after a few emails, and a dozen phone calls, they were able to forward me the top secret footage of how my grandmother got that black eye:

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Also, my grandma is in love with American Idol’s Scott McCreary and his sideways cowboy crooning. I tell you what, Scott McCreary, I wasn’t a big fan before, but if you keep making my grandma happy on Wednesday and Thursday nights, you can have my vote!

Happy Mother’s Day, Grandma!! This post wasn’t that bad after all. I guess I had to keep some of the extra wicked stuff to myself since you have surpassed all your friends in the technology age and find your way to my blog on a regular basis…

Oh, wait, except that time when you took your Mormon self and my Mormon sister to England when she was 14 and drank WINE.

That was wicked awesome.

And Happy Mothers Day to Jon’s awesome mom, Carolyn, my Grandma Maxine, Susan Love-King and ALL the amazing women who nurture, support and tease me into being a better mom myself, many while feeding, clothing, disciplining and loving rug rats of their own.

Also, if you’re still reading this (thank you for your patience) The Great Grand Babies want to thank Grandma Sylvia for always teaching that if you really put you’re heart into something, then you Can-Can do it!!

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HA! The kids are gonna watch that a bazillion times… well, when they aren’t watching this Mothers Day grand finale that Alice picked for Gramma Sharri…

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Now that! is wicked. That is almost “Happy Easter, Aimee!” wicked.

My work here is done. HAPPY DAY PEOPLE!


Sylvia said...

From Gram (not lorraine):

That was the MOST FUN email that I ever received! Sharri and I laughed our heads off. SO thoughtful and clever. I LOVE you and hope that you are having a great Mother's Day.

Andrea said...

Happy Mother's Day! (I really would have liked the talking mop at my house. Just so you can be on the look out for it when it goes on sale or something.)

Brookelyn said...

I loved all of that. All of it. what wonderful women have gone before us and are coming up after us. I adore that Alice has your grandma's laugh! And the videos, and your mom dancing with a talking mop!! Just made my day!!