Thursday, April 21, 2011

You Are a Horrible Person

“Here come the test results: you are a horrible person. That’s what it says: Horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”

Holy cow, I have never enjoyed being insulted so much in my entire life! I guess out of context that seems like a terrible thing to say to someone, but imagine how terrible it would make you feel if you were trapped miles underground with only a depraved computer voice to guide you through a labyrinth of twisted puzzles like you’re nothing better than a common lab rat. Only the computer lady would probably be nicer to the rats.

That’s right, Portal 2 was released on Tuesday. I have talked about this before, but if you didn’t listen to me then? LISTEN TO ME NOW. My family has never had more fun with any kind of game ever in the history of games. Since we love yahtzee that might not mean a lot to you… but then there was that one time we lit the dice on fire, so maybe it does.

Anyway, xbox, pc, playstation, I know you have one of those so GET THIS GAME:


and then when you’re done with that


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I have never paid full price for a game in my life, it’s not like a movie or a tv show, you don’t have to worry someone is going to ruin the end of a game for you. I always wait for about 6 months to a year and then snag it on ebay… Not this time, and you guys don’t have to spend the big bucks like we did! I’m betting most of you who read this blog need to start with the first one, which is 9 bucks on our favorite gaming engine, Steam. When you’re done with that hopefully number two will be headed to the sale rack.

So, I guess I’m trying to say, you should try it!

Yes, I’m talking to you “Jared.” And to my friends, and my enemies… and yes, even baby Norah’s mom! YOU. Get this. Hey Emily?! You know what you need after a great Easter service? PORTAL! Pray for your wayward cousin on her Easter camping adventure, then gather the family and play. This. GAME. If you do I promise to sing a Gospel on the mountain top so loud you might hear me :)

It doesn’t take years of your life, and there is no blood or violence or swearing (but it’s still fun, I promise), and while you have to use all of your brains, everyone can do it. Russell solves some of these rooms faster than Jon and I ever did!

And Portal 2? It has a cooperative option that has our whole family jumping on couches and smacking each other on the butt like we’re in the freaking NBA… although when you have kids with bottoms like Alice you tend to smack them all the time anyway out of sheer adorable cheeky-ness.

This game is also the reason you haven’t seen any new blogs from me since Monday, but somehow you still might be able to smell me. I probably should have showered before I wrote this. Sorry.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

I am downloading portal right like 6 hours I should be able to play :) Is this the game that Olivia was playing at your house that she keeps asking me "when can we get it?"