Friday, April 1, 2011

X-MAS on the x-mas

As in, I have lost my mind and will probably be buying a house this year. Also, since I would like to know how exactly we’re going to pay for that (a.k.a. after years of havin’ a good ol’ time), Jon and I finally sat down with something called a “Financial Advisor.” I know what you’re thinking, “But, Alissa?! You seem like you would be so great with money!” I know, it seems crazy, but one of the best pieces of advice that I’ve really been trying to implement recently is that ADHD adults (me! :) need to be good at what they do, and find people to help them do what they aren’t good at, so they can be free to find success doing what they ARE good at! (I can’t edit that sentence anymore, every time I do it gets worse, but I think you know what I’m saying.)

It’s like the cute ladies who come to my house every two weeks to make my bathrooms and kitchen floor shiny; it’s not that I can’t do that myself, it’s just that now there is an external force that keeps my house running like clockwork. Every other Thursday I spend getting the laundry done so that on Friday morning while Laura and Clara are here, I can roll up my sleeves, too. When they leave my whole house is shiny and organized enough to be sadly neglected for two more weeks. We’re like a team!

And now, we have a Finance Guy. Wow, that makes me feel fancy! But not for long. Apparently when I say I’m good at some things and not good at others… well that’s true.

The good news? Apparently I can have romantic feelings for a spread sheet because the excel document that our guy made for us is the sexiest thing I have ever seen! It just oozes order and confidence. It says, “look at what I can do with the forty bucks you’ve been spending at the craft store if I put it over HERE” <raising eyebrows suggestively> …and “look there! You really CAN save money by switching your car insurance!” <winking> …”and you will not believe what I can do with a grocery budget” <flexing a bicep>

No, seriously, Jon likes the spreadsheet too, but he might be getting a little annoyed that I keep leaning forward so the computer screen can see down my shirt.

Anyway, I am writing to tell you that I no longer have a non-family Christmas budget. Sigh. Not that everyone who reads this necessarily get’s presents from me, but the chances are pretty good that you do. And birthday presents. And the random Valentine in September present. Hey, don’t mock me! It’s one of the things that makes me charming and endearing.

Oh, and broke.

So Jon made me tear my eyes away from the spread sheet and PICK ONE.

I picked birthdays :)

Then followed 10 days of cutting, slashing, bending, negotiating, crying… by that I mean we made a list of things we want to spend money on, set a budget, made a plan. Then Jon put in the numbers, and my new boyfriend the spreadsheet was practically climbing out of the monitor to kiss me on the mouth! Suddenly all the little course corrections and budgeting of the many little and big things means that I feel really, REALLY good about buying a house! Like real people with a real budget and a real plan! A mortgage, retirement, college funds, even a smidge left over for a little getaway on our next anniversary! Assuming anyone is crazy enough to watch the children….

Anyone?

I’ll keep you posted on that one.

That’s all, really. I know I probably shouldn’t talk about money or politics or religion here, but since I’ve already done the latter two, I thought it was time to rip off the band aid on this one! I just have to say that while we have often failed to sit down and iron out specific goals, we have worked hard to set ourselves up to buy a house and we have been ready for this for a while… but NOW? Well, now that it’s all planned out, it just feels better.

Yuck, even mature.

Now, just wait for the next post where I update you on the house hunt. Yes, I have pictures and four words for you: bathtub in the floor. Stay tuned.

7 comments:

Lorraine said...

NO VALENTINES PRESENTS IN SEPTEMBER ANYMORE????

THIS better be the April Fools Post.

And if not, you are SO lucky that I have a real boyfriend now, so you don't have to be my anonymous secret admireer anymore. I'm sure that was part of the budget breaker.

WHAT ABOUT CARE PACKAGES?? IS THERE A BUDGET FOR CARE PACKAGES???

Jon King said...

I have been replaced by a spreadsheet, I had assumed that someday I might be replaced by a robot, or a fancy computer not something developed by Microsoft.

and Lorraine, I am now in charge of care packages, and unfortunately, I don't care ;)

Kings said...

Alissa, you are quite the writer! I am impressed, and excited for you about the house. You make me giggle, anytime I tune into your fun posts on the blog...albeit the occasions are rare. I have given up on my blog, and only when you share your posts on FB when I happen to be on, I love to read and giggle. BTW we will be in your neck of the woods end of June and over 4th of July weekend. We would love to come to your house, and/or meet you at Disneyland again. It was so fun to see you last time. I can't believe it's already been a year and a half since then. Your kiddos are adorable by the way!

walkinblonde said...

Oh my gosh...I am hysterical. Sexy spread sheets and bearing your "ministry" to the computer screen? It just doesn't get any better than this. And, though we've never exchanged birthday gifts, I think I just got mine in the form of this post. I love it! I love you!

Erin said...

"I keep leaning forward so the computer screen can see down my shirt."

This was possibly the best form of therapy I've had in a while.

I'm SO excited for you! And for me too because I'm going to be staying at your house a lot, even if we have to camp in the incredible backyard.

Caroline Kingsley said...

Don't make me feel guilty about going slack on budgeting!

Oh and congratulations! :P

Andrea said...

Just make sure that your video chat isn't turned on when you let the computer see your goods! You make me laugh. Out Loud.