Friday, April 29, 2011

And the winner is?!

No one!

Mainly because I’m writing this when I am sleep deprived and my grammar is going to be awful!

And, well, I mean, Lorraine DID win because she commented, AND sent a picture of herself with her midnight snack, AND we talked on the phone for two hours while we watched…

But it’s FRIDAY.

:(

The minutes are inching toward 3:30pm. In an hour I will drive away from Russell’s wonderful school, and we can never go back. And by Monday it won’t even be a school anymore. I imagine today as we pull away from the safe haven for our wonderful spirited boy, and watch it grow smaller in the rearview mirror, my panic will grow a little larger in exchange.

So no one is a winner today! No one can ever win. Ever again. In the history of the world! All winning is over and there’s no more rainbows, no one will ever write a great novel again, or paint a beautiful painting, and the tooth fairy is a lie, and…

what? too much?

A little doom and gloom never hurt anybody. Except me. It’s hurting me all over. And I’ve been trying so hard to distract myself with blogging everyday this week!

Snap out of it! my common sense says.

No way! says the fourteen year old girl writing bad poetry in a dark corner of my brain surrounded by posters of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

Fine, I say. One more hour.

Four!

Three?

two.

ok. two. but no blogging.

As if a teenager ever listened.

I’ll be okay. And when I pick Russell up from his new school on Tuesday and no one had to call the fire station I will be even better. And the thing about this feeling I have? I think it’s all I know how to feel because the last two times Russell ‘left’ a school it was really a living nightmare. What if I just don’t know what it feels like to have a smooth transition? Maybe this whole thing is what needed to happen so I will know that we can do this school thing at all. That he can move through grades like other kids seem too. And maybe I will look back on this moment and know this was when I learned that not every change has to feel like walking to the guillotine. It doesn’t have to be comfortable, but change never is, and I like things to change.

I just prefer it when it’s my choice. Or involves me getting large sums of cash.   

Thanks, my friends, for listening to this last rant. Thank you Cottage Preschool, for taking my wild boy and turning him into a boy who can wiggle and jiggle but sit through a class, a boy whose first real memories of teachers will be of great women who made him feel loved a reined in at the same time.

And thank you Lorraine, for talking to your sister in the wee hours of the morning, because you wanted free scones that badly :)

downsized_0429010239

Yeah, and the crown really does make me feel a little better.

2 comments:

Lorraine said...

I knew that it would. I only pull out the stops for a select group of people, namely, Alissa. Yeah, that's about it.

Also, if you ever happen to have a conversation with my brother-in-law Derek at any point during our mortal lives, I will pay you $100 not to mention this picture. Because srsly. I would never live it down.

Andrea said...

Congratulations Lorraine, if you would like for Derek to never see this picture, then please send me half of the scone (or $100 to buy my own)... or else :)