Saturday, February 12, 2011

Debbie Downer!

If you want to see something completely cheerful and fabulous click here:

otherwise continue reading:

For a lady who calls her blog “Rae Of Sunshine” I sure have been a grump lately! Unfortunately, I have a little more, er, NOT sunshine to pile on. (it’s not to late to just go watch that link instead) (you have been warned)

Yesterday we were informed that Cottage Preschool will be closing!!!! Mr. and Mrs. D are selling the house and moving to Utah. For anyone bored or groovy enough to read this site on a regular basis, you might have an idea what Cottage has meant to us, and how sad this is! You’ll know what it has done for our family, and how it has helped mold Russell into a boy who can not just attend preschool, but thrive there.

When I got the letter that there was an important mandatory meeting for all parents, and since we are still in the process of preparing for the funeral and grieving for my grandfather, I didn’t let myself think too much about what the meeting was for. That was a mistake because when I was surrounded by all the other parents and holding Miss Alice, well, let’s just say it’s not the best time to turn into a baby myself!

And I would be embarrassed… except I soon realized no one was paying attention to the grown lady/cry baby, because they were all cry babies too! What kind of a closing preschool can do this?! I am so glad for our cottage teachers that we were simply a room full of bawl babies. Some things are worth a good cry! And I’m proud of the mom who called out that “wherever Miss Kelly goes, let us know, cause we are going too!”  and I’m proud of Mrs. D for being a woman of extraordinary faith and courage. I know her heart is breaking, and I know her sadness will not stop her from going where she feels she has to go for her family or for her spirit.

She said several times yesterday that the hardest stuff is usually the most important stuff. I know this is true. The last two years have been killer, and even though I wouldn’t change a second of it, that doesn’t mean I am looking forward to, or trying to find, any more hard stuff at the moment! Yes, Russell goes to kindergarten in the fall so this shouldn’t be so bad, but the thing that makes this so hard for us? Mrs. D and Cottage preschool are the first and still most rooted thing that we have in California. As Jon said last night, sometimes it feels like they are the only other people in the world who understand how difficult Russell can be, but they have taken the time to fall in love with him, too! When it’s gone, it’s just me and Jon against the world again, hoping other people will make the effort to see his bright golden heart. Knowing that Cottage would always be there if Russell was stumbling as he moves on in school, well, it was a little slice of security that I took for granted.

Miss Kelly, Miss Ashley, Miss Lynn, Mrs. G, they were all Russell’s fabulous teachers. Mrs. D? She was MY teacher. I don’t know how I would be keeping the momentum of my life if I didn’t have a place where Russell is safe, a friend who makes me a better mom, and a tether keeping me rooted in California where sometimes I can feel isolated as a stay at home lady with the little children. I know Mrs. D will always be a phone call away and I know I have no right to be this sad when there are people who have had all their children at Cottage except their last baby, or when Mrs. D’s daughter Marcy is staying in California, so I really do know I shouldn’t complain, but, um, it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to! (you really were warned)

Finally, one last link. This is the first post that I ever referred to Cottage preschool in. At the time I was nervous to put it up because it was the first time I really opened up in a public forum about my underwear. Yeah, you read that right. I have to say, I still like the post in retrospect. That post and that time in my life set my feet on the path that has me here today, still picking along carefully and honestly. And I’m glad I wrote it, especially today.

Oh, and then you really should go watch that video.

Oh, oh! And we just finished Russell’s Valentines! I promise the next post will be good because it will feature a handsome boy AND CANDY. I will call it “The cure for all that ails me”   :)


Aimee said...

What rotten, sad news!! As one who has learned to never take for granted truly tuned-in and loving educators in her son's life, I feel, feel, feel your pain. So sorry, Sis. I wish I could move to CA just so we could form a commune. Love you!

Carly said...

what? that's awful about Russell's school. I KNOW how important preschool is to us. and we love you all. and we are still trying to plan our disney trip, I still think we are crazy. love you.

Andrea said...

I am still so sorry that your preschool/pillar is ending. Happy Valentines though, I can't wait for your candy man (boy) post. Love you and your chubby cheeked little ones!