Tuesday, August 10, 2010

tennnn looooong yeeeeaaars :)

When Jon and I first met, we were even less than poor starving college students. After we met we stepped up to being  poor starving college students in love. It’s lame, but true.

Jon’s life plan was to be an electrician when I first asked him to drive my Lamb Queen float in the parade down Manti’s Main Street. You know, the parade where it rained buckets and he thought I was trying to set him up with Margaret because I asked if she could drive in the cab with him. Silly boy, I was just looking for her crush approval! It worked itself out when we had our first kiss within the week. An accidental first kiss. We thought we were so cool playing the ‘we’re just friends’ card as we spent every waking second together talking about everything, especially how cool it was to just be friends. Like we couldn’t reassure each other enough, “hey no pressure here, but can I sleep on the floor by your bed with your crazy cat and crazier roommate? Cause we’re friends like that?”  Then one night watching a movie he accidently shifted his hand and it touched mine… and he didn’t move it… and I didn’t move mine…  I can’t even tell you what on earth we were watching because it was like a swirling whirling breath holding moment and I was a deer in the headlights of a cotton candy semi truck filled with hugs and vodka! Drunk on his proximity and high on infatuation I almost couldn’t believe it when I turned my face and he kissed me. It was awful and awesome because we were so nervous! And still not breathing… but ten years of practice later and getting oxygen to our brains on a regular basis I think we could now teach a master class! Hahaha! Oh, but I love an awfully good first kiss.

So anyway, he was going to be an electrician, but as his school year progressed he switched his focus to computers then went on to be the top of his class at UVU and graduate Valedictorian with a degree in computer science and already hired at the great job he still has today.  Writing this is actually bringing back a bunch of memories of that time I had forgotten. You know, the time before children that take your brain cells and squeeze the sense out of them? Or at least any memory of life without them?

But one of the things I remember most about those years, our courtship, our new marriage, Jon working full time and going to school full time, me going from job to job and illness to kidney stones to endometriosis and emergency rooms spending thousands of dollars we didn’t have, living in grungy $400/mo basement apartments… I remember crawling in bed with Jon night after night and clinging to him like he was my life raft and if we said it once, we said it a million times: “Good night. I love you. I would live with you in a cardboard box.” And of course Jon always tells me it wouldn’t be just any cardboard box. Oh no! He will get us, not one, but TWO refrigerator boxes! To which I reply that our cardboard home will have the nicest trash bag drapes and linens you have ever seen and I will paint our family portrait on the wall with half a 99 cent watercolor palette I will find behind the elementary school.

Yeah, it’s a bizarre fantasy, but the fantasy that you are in this with someone who will never quit on you, who will join you for a moonshine martini on your plywood porch with a view of the backdoor of Krazy Eddie’s Chicago Pizza and Fine Sushi…

…wherever Jon is, is where I am home. That is my fantasy and my truth.

And those were the words I thought when I found his new wedding ring on Etsy. Love at first sight, I knew it was the perfect 10 year anniversary present. New rings had been one of the idea’s floating around in my head for our 10 year anniversary, mostly because since my weight gain, and then loss, my ring is too big. I wasn’t sure, though. I knew if we did it I wanted something totally different from my traditional sweet diamond ring, you know, because I’m kind of a totally different than the girl who chose that one. When I saw the ring for Jon, it was game on, and fortunately soon after I did find the perfect thing, like a little sculpture on my finger.  It’s called Apple Blossoms.

10 years of marriage  is no small feat, sometimes it seems like a yellow happy blur, and some nights seem like the fight will never end. Reflecting on these ten years, we have overcome so many struggles, often to be met with new ones. Lately I have been struggling in particular with my role as mother and then as a wife. I want to be both at the same time, but I have often said lately that I feel like when the kids are awake I have three children and when they go to sleep I have my boyfriend back.

In the last ten years it seems like as soon as I master an issue, or figure out where all the lines go so I can color inside them, someone turns the page. I am the center of this machine and no one gave me a manual! I am a good mom, I love firmly, I run the show, I always know where all the moving pieces are at any given time, I’m usually three steps ahead of the game and I always have a plan, and often a Plan B, too.  How do I keep my head above this chaos and not make Jon feel belittled because I just need him to “do what I say when I say it, just this once, please” ? He goes from being completely capable, juggling people and projects and office politics to being told over a screaming child that I am holding up in the air by his forearm “I’m sorry Jon, I am sure that you have some very valuable information that could help me right now, but if you wouldn’t mind I would like to solve it my way first and we can have a meeting later and you could make me some notes about how you would like me to handle this in the future. Because your input is very important to me.”

Only, that is just what I think I am saying. What I actually said is “Seriously? Right now?! If you had taken him outside like I asked while I cooked dinner, we wouldn’t even be having this problem so do not try and help me now!”

To Jon. My heart. My home. I did NOT marry that skinny college kid so he could turn into a handsome man that I could talk to like an idiot. And sometimes when I get that way, I feel so bad it makes me extra cranky and then I actually treat him worse!  And you know what he does? Well, besides defending himself, which, trust me, he can do just fine. No, night comes and he wraps his big strong arms around me and pulls me close like I didn’t yell at him like a fish wife on the pier. And that is how we made it to ten years. And how I know the next ten will be another yellow happy blur with a few long nights. Okay, a lot of long nights.

…but that’s not always a bad thing ;)

Happy 10 year Anniversary Jonathan King. Since you continue to provide us with one beautiful home after another you don’t need this, but I went ahead and made you a little cardboard home anyway. It’s small but we can keep all our wedding rings in it if you would like. I plan on having a few, because I would marry you over and over again. And wedding ring shopping is fun. Thank you for running and walking with me, for treading water with me, and for holding our kids above the waves with me. I love you.

7 4 16

6 comments:

Stefanie said...

10 years?? Crazy!! Congrats :)

Tara Boschetti said...

You are pretty much the cutest thing ever! Happy Anniversary!!!! And I LOVE the rings! :)

LorraineinSpain said...

the rings are really cool, but the house is AWESOME. You're cute.

Andrea said...

How sweet! Happy Anniversary!!

Susan said...

Happy 10 Year Anniversary, Alissa and Jon! Wishing you many more years of craziness and bliss.
Love you, Susan xoxo

Carly said...

so happy late anniversary! and I blame my forgetful brain on pregnancy. bananas rings you two.