Thursday, March 18, 2010

Our Painful Thirties

Well, about a year into this, I have decided I actually like being in my thirties. So I guess it’s not all that painful for me, but Russell? His thirties are quite painful!

That’s because my thirties are in years, and his are STITCHES. That’s right, since the twelve we added last Saturday, Russell has now had more than 30 stitches in his rather short life!

And you better believe I have pictures!

I need them so I can show them to him one day when he calls me to ask why he can’t be an eye model... or a lip, or a face, or an arm model either… and I will remind him that while he was splitting his fresh, sweet, dirt covered 4 year old skin over and over, I was the crazy lady in the background, running in slow motion, waving my arms and shouting STOP! NO! DON’T!!

Okay, well that’s not exactly how it happened, but that’s what it feels like when you turn and see that split second before the catastrophe happens and you are just a few too many feet away to change what you know is about to be Blood and Mayhem….

So “What now?!” you ask? Well, Russell and our three year old friend Andrew were back in the PLAYHOUSE (you know, for children… unless the people living here before us had wild disagreements so regularly that they built the husband a literal dog house with wood floors, electricity, real doors, and yes, real windows…)

So Andrew is in the playhouse and Russell is outside. As Andrew slides open the window, Russell pushes against it and it just EXPLODED plate glass everywhere! Immediately we see blood rushing down both Russell’s arms and we frantically run in the house and wrap his arms in paper towels and then wrap them with DUCT tape to keep the pressure on, and that is when I turn around and realize Andrew has blood running down his face from cuts all over! It was like a car accident! So fast and violent! Fortunately by the Grace of God and Andrews Cat Like Reflexes he had closed his eyes in time and the worst cuts were on his eye lids and not his actual eye, and he had quite the radical shiner for a few days (in fact I think when it was all done his brother Michael was a little bummed he didn’t have any war wounds, too :)

So we RACED Russell to the ER with his hands held above his head wrapped in paper towels and tape… and proceeded to WAIT over an HOUR AND A HALF!!

It was like a monotone voice directing you to “Gun Shot Victims over here," and "Flu and Cough over on the left," until finally we found "Violent Boy Accidents can sit here next to the fish tank…”

Fish tank?! Are you kidding me?

Ask me if I feel bad that my wild boy got blood all over the damn fish tank. No really, ASK ME. Ugh. But they finally got him in and, holy moly, ask this kid about all our trauma at the ER and he will probably regale you with details about Graham Crackers and Chocolate pudding.

The room temperature chocolate pudding and the no name graham crackers.

You know, the ones that were probably manufactured by the same people who make the cardboard toilet paper, the stuff they put in the bathrooms on the maternity floor that make squeezing out another baby more appealing then having to pee afterward?

So, yeah, cardboard crackers or not, that kid loves anything that feels like a perk! I guess it's good he doesn't know I will soon be getting a bill for one $112 dollar chocolate pudding and $98 dollars worth of hospital graham crackers.

I don't care, it was worth it! Twelve stitches and 6 hours later we were home when the full realization that he has finally gotten stitches somewhere other than his FACE had me in fits of elation. Seriously! I am so glad they aren’t on his face I think I am going to make myself a PRIZE! Maybe I am getting better at this mother thing after all…

Enjoy your grody pictures now :)

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Oh, and how’s this for morbid? Russell INSISTED we take these pictures in the BROKEN WINDOW! Oh, he is my weird, wonderful, mini-me. Is it wrong that I’m proud?

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3 comments:

Ryan and Lillian said...

Wow!! So far we have avoided stitches in our house. But, we have had a few trips to the ER. One from a little girl spraying Spray 'n wash in her baby sister's eyes.

What a cute kid though. And Super brave. Sounds a lot like you (the brave part).

Andrea said...

Oh, the pictures taken in "The Window"... He is the bestest morbid little guy, and I love his facial expressions! A true testimonial for the reasons to always keep Duct Tape on hand.

The Farrell Family said...

30 stitches already! Pretty impressive Russell. Hopefully things slow down in the stitching department.