Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Tornado Diet

Rain, rain, RAIN! While I actually love hard rain pouring down in sheets , as long as everyone is is home and cozy in their covers or watching a show on my lap, but yesterday when I was driving home from taking Russell to school I was not entirely pleased to have an ENTIRE palm tree uproot and slam into the road 30 feet in front of my car. Or to have the emergency broadcast system interrupt Ellen to tell me to “get in my storm shelter or BATHTUB” because there is a TORNADO at your doorstep.

The the next thing I know, every person in my neighborhood is LEAVING ME!! I walked by the window and cars, cars, cars! Lined up as far as I could see it seemed like everyone was heading out. I even thought maybe we were being evacuated? Then my neighbor sent me this picture of the major street the runs beside our neighborhood…

IMG00239

It seems in a matter of a few rainy hours we had suddenly become the proud occupants of river front property. They were rerouting traffic through our little suburb and I wished Russell wasn’t at school because it was kind of fun to watch the zillion cars pass by the window in the sheets of pouring rain while we sat in our jammies and had hot cocoa.

And not DIET hot cocoa, sticks of dark mint chocolate melted into BOILING MILK. Extra marshmallows please. Something I keep meaning to do here is post a real deal before and after picture to document the 30+ pounds I lost this year, and now it’s too late. I’ll be fat again by tomorrow. Even though I came through the holidays just fine, cold/wet/dark California feels enough like winter that my Utah/caveman self is on a mission to thwart every salad and grilled chicken breast that comes my way by following it with pasta and/or dessert!! Almonds? Sure, dipped in Belgian dark chocolate please. Dried cranberries? Why, yes! Covered in yogurt if you don’t mind. Who brought these bagels in my house?! I hope you weren’t planning on having any because I ATE them. Yes, all of them.

And you know tomorrow is supposed to be even worse. My mother keeps sending me pictures of doppler's and trying to refresh me on 8th grade physical science talking about cold fronts and warm fronts and low pressure and high pressure and all I can think is, “I wonder if she can hear me crunching my cereal” as I try to hold the receiver away from my mouth so I won’t drip milk on it.

5 comments:

kateastrophe said...

I freaking love you. Our street looked a lot like that yesterday too. It just lasted four minutes instead of hours!

Sylvia said...

Ha, ha, ha! You thought that you left crumby weather behind in Utah. It is beautiful here!! OK, so you can laugh at me tomorrow, when we get your awful weather. Loved your blog, and you. --Gram

Jared said...

this is NOT jared, this is your mother (someone needs to come fix my computer) anyway, oh THATS why you didn't react to my urgent call that the purple doppler tornado cell was headed to your street! your mouth was full... well if we survive today (the most dangerous day of all) then we should be able to bask in sunshine again by saturday afternoon. now go eat~

Andrea said...

Maybe your body is just telling you that you are getting too skinny to survive a natural disaster and that you need to pack on a couple pounds so that you don't have to eat your children when you can no longer buy supplies at the store. (Or maybe your bored?)

Stefanie said...

Glad you're ok :) By the way, parents never know when we have the phone pulled away and we're not paying attention.