Sunday, August 30, 2009

Kevin Redding

ring ring (or my ringtone as it were…)

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Sister King?”

“Well, hi, Kevin Redding”

I turn and look at Jon, this is what we get for answering a call that didn’t show up on caller ID. Kevin Redding isn’t just the name of our personal Mormon stalker, it’s become something of a Household Name. Sometimes I think he keeps better track of us than my google calendar.

“How’s the music going?”

what? “What?”

“You’re the one that does music, but it’s something unusual, right?”

“Oh, yeah, bluegrass”

“Yeah, how’s the bluegrass treating you?”

What? Why are we… wait did you write this down on an index card like Michael Scott? Aren’t you going to ask about my Gay Son now?

So anyway, I’m not rude to Kevin Redding, but I’m kind of, well, not nice. It doesn’t deter him, but if I were any nicer I think he might try to move in, or make us friendship bracelets. It’s fine, but Oh Kevin Redding, you are very patient with us.

I ask “So when you say ‘the bishop wants to meet with you, do mean you: Alissa King? or you: King family?”

Just me, that means one thing and I can’t imagine what would inspire someone to give me a calling what with our stellar attendance and all. Hmmm. So yeah, I agree to meet the Bishop tomorrow “Yes, Sunday, 12pm, back of the church, bye, Kevin Redding.”

Great, I don’t even know if I have church clothes that fit my current body.

The highlight was walking down the church hallway with Alice on my hip and I felt a little thrill being in our Sunday finery together, just a couple of cute girls at church. She’s such a nice baby.

My interview ended up being with Brother Cotton which was a pleasant surprise because I’ve already met him. A meeting that I remembered quickly when he declared that this calling should please me because it would keep me out of relief society.

“Did I say that out loud?”

“No, but you did last time we visited you. Don’t worry, my wife hasn’t been to relief society in years either”

hahahahahaha. this gets better and better.

I shook his hand thinking ‘do your worst’ and said “Alright, I’m here, what have you got for me?”

He was so nervous! I swear he almost told me the calling ten times and then changed the subject. I think he was positive I would say no, which made me feel like crap and I did my best to really behave myself and listen. Yes, it is possible for me to do that, just not likely.

Big surprise, they called me to be the Sunbeam teacher. That’s right, Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam. The shiniest part of this story is that this means there are finally enough kids to make a class! There will be three other Sunbeams (ages 4-6), and as I said to Brother Cotton “Then I can actually be there if Russell smacks someone instead of hearing about it later!”

This could really work.

So today I’m thinking. I told him I can’t come back to church without Jon, but Jon doesn’t want to talk in church or pray at a pulpit, and did he catch the part about Russell hitting? So the last thing I think I need will be a couple name tags and we’ll give this thing a try.

russell alissa jonalice

(I know, she’s awesome)

6 comments:

Jared said...

this is not jared. i taught sunbeams. when i was in high school. you know who was in the class? my (little did i know) future nephew Guy Jamison! i loved the sunbeams. good post! love you, madre

Kateastrophe said...

You I love.

Aimee said...

HA! Will you please make me a name tag? I'm dying to know what it would say!

LM said...

That will be a fun calling. I was in the nursery for a long time and the kids are so loving. Right now I have a calling where I do have to be in Relief Society...because I don't think they would like it if the President didn't show up! :) (And it is actually my most favorite calling that I have ever had!)

Andrea said...

HaHaHaHa, you are going to teach sunbeams... they gave you the "activation" calling. Its what they gave me too when they decided I couldn't be a heathen any longer. It was great some days and I came home and cried on others (when cute little Lucy Plott made me want to pull out my hair). I love the name tags, especially Jon's (I feel the same way).

Stefanie said...

Awww Sunbeams. Do you have folder games? I have to books to make them. They were my saving grace. It's their first experience out of nursery and they start crying when they realize there's no toys or treats. So the games are good, and the occassional treat works wonders :)