I have a problem, and I've been such a spaz about it I don't even know how to explain myself.
Let's start with the part where I am totally not professional. Like, if my coworkers (children) had access to the internet, I would have been fired a thousand times by now.
Okay, that's all I can say while "others" of an actual professional nature might be listening-- please excuse me for a second...
Ahem! Attention Professional Ladies and Gentlemen of Alex and Von; please refer to my stellar and completely professional introduction to your products here:
<wait for it...>
Ok... are they gone?
Being professional is hard! Sometimes I feel like such a weirdo. My end game is so different from what most people are moving toward I don't even begin to know how to explain myself. Like the part where I want you to come over and get free samples and I really, for REAL, don't care if you buy anything.
It's tricky because I was raised in a store. IN a STORE. When I was five I was arranging soap and rugs and asking people, "How are you doing today? Can I answer any questions for you?" hoping they wouldn't say yes because I had no idea what to say after that.
I know HOW to be professional. I know how to open a storefront on etsy or sell Chinese antiques on eBay to make some extra dough, but that's not why I signed up for this gig. I signed up because I am SO picky. I signed up because I was devoted to the Body Shop for years, I would wait for clearance events and stock up on their wonderful vitamin c face scrubs and vitamin e illuminating moisturizer. I would pounce on a good deal for an eyeliner or foundation at department stores or online, and I was devoted to Maybelline colorfast lipstick for about five years.
3 years ago when I lost the first fifty of my seventy pound goal, I hit a plateau. That's when I paused and got the book "How Not To Look Old" by Charla Krupp. I loved it! Feeling more fresh faced, applying my makeup correctly, buying pants that weren't to small, and getting the right underwear just gave me that little boost I needed to lose the last 30 pounds.
Last year I was so disappointed to look Charla up and find out she had died from breast cancer. I was stunned and so sad, but since she was a woman who made a living trying every beauty product ever invented I have to admit it made me rethink something I had been trying to avoid--what is in my make up? And lotion. And shampoo.
I'm not trying to be insensitive, the causes of cancer are complicated and rude, but I threw away my colorfast lip gloss anyway after I did minimal research before discovering it had such a small amount of lead in it they weren't required to list it in the ingredients.
I'm not made out of money, people! I live on a strict budget that has, on occasion, tried to molest me through the computer screen. I started investigating my makeup more, spending a little more, and over a few months gradually budgeted to switch out some of my long time favorites for things that were more natural at places like Sephora, or Nordstroms, or the AMAZING Lush stores that have been popping up.
Fast forward a couple years and, honestly, you guys would be crazy not to take advantage of all my experimenting by checking out the products I have found through Alex and Von. No one even asked me to become a consultant, I went to a party my organic guru neighbor was throwing, I ordered some products, and a day after I received and used them I was knocking down her door trying to find out how I could make this stuff available to my friends.
I'm SO picky about where my dollars go, but there are not words to express how refreshing it feels to work hard all day, and suddenly be washing my face with Mint White Tea Foaming Wash. It's like a present for my FACE! For my nose, for my bathroom sink! Then I treat any trouble areas with the Purity Spot Treatment that doesn't suck all the good stuff out of my face. As a 33 year old woman who has tried everything from Oxy to Proactive to expensive sets from Oil Of Oley, I was about to surrender to the dermatologist for a Rx for Accutane. I'm too old for the awful monthly hormonal breakout! Now I can't believe I'm saying it, but this stuff has been kicking butt! On my, um, face.
Not only does it immediately soothe the undesirable swelling and redness as soon as you apply it, but it's also eliminating acne causing bacteria. I follow it with the light and lovely Acai Moisturizer that has such a delicious scent I wish I could brush my teeth with it. There's no other way to say this; I haven't had an ouch zit in over 8 weeks. Before that, I can't remember the last time I didn't have at least one sneaky monster frustrating me somewhere on my nice mom face. I'll give you an update in six months to see if this trend held up.
Even more than that, I discovered for what I could pay for one massage, instead I could have week after week of "spa experience" at the end of EVERY day--and that doesn't even mention the skin brightening citrus scrub, or TO DIE FOR Honey Almond Body Butter. I have never used ANYTHING like it, it starts as a solid then melts into your skin as it reaches body temperature. It is not heavy, I can slather Alice head to toe, and it gives her pink ouchy eczema skin luscious nurturing moisture for hours and hours without being slimy or heavy.
I don’t technically work outside the home, so the way I make money for my family is by how I SAVE it. Girls, if you clicked on those links and had reservations about the prices compared to what you could get at say, Target? Let me tell you now, I have been using these products for months now and have not yet had to replace one. They are so pure, I use less, a little goes a long way! I used to budget in my cleansers and moisturizers because I would use up a container in a month. Now? My skin has never felt better, and I’m not even halfway through most of my items.
You really do have to see it believe it, so even though I didn't think I was going to do “parties,” well... I kind of want to! You may or may not have noticed that I have put up an invitation (or two) to come get some free samples, and then took them down. And then put them back up. And then took them back down. I know. I'm embarrassing.
I don't want people to cut me out their newsfeed because I've taken on this stay at home business. I don't WANT to bother you! And I don't ever want you to think I've only invited you to my house to sell you something.
But when I thought of having regular casual get togethers... (shhh...) I sort of got excited!
I don’t know why as a mom I don't take the time to have girlfriends over, to watch a movie or drink wine or lemonade on the back porch. Suddenly I had a great excuse to see people I miss.
So here it is, no shame, and I promise not to put this post up and take it down ten times: On a regular day at a regular time once a month, I'm going to start opening my home for a few hours hoping to see my friends! Let's say the first Monday of every month. That day is always a killer bummer, so I'd like to start looking forward to it instead. I don't care if you buy a thing from me, but I do care about your health and life and I want to see you. If giving you free samples and hanging out just happen to be best when done together, so be it.
Let's throw in a couple books, too. I just started reading Breathers, anyone want to join me? It was a gift from my rad brother in law who is an English Professor at John's Hopkins and just taught an entire semester on ZOMBIES. This is a person whose reading advice we should all want to take :)
And see? Even if you happen to be one of my far away dear ones you're still invited! I invite you to take a advantage of the day, do something nice for yourself, get the book, call a girlfriend for lunch, and/or get yourself a cruelty free (and guilt free) makeup brush that feels like butterflies kissing your face and will last you for the next twenty years.
Can a kabuki brush from Au Natural really change your life? I think yes :)
Plus, I can't wait to tell you all about EO! Affordable, amazing, natural cleansers for you and your home--but this post is already long enough so that will just have to wait :)
I promise, near or far, I'll keep you up to date on the great deals, the free shipping specials, and best of all, free gift with purchase events, and I officially declare the 1st Monday of every month MORE MONDAY and invite you to join me.
Get more from your life.
Do more for yourself.
Get more for your money.
Expect more from your bath, beauty, and cleaning products.
Make more time to see good friends.
I really hope to see you! Doors open at 11am for a few hours and again at 7pm. As always, feel free to bring a friend or your little ones--we have over a thousand Lincoln Logs and a trampoline in the family room, I'm sure we can work something out ;)
I mentioned the free samples, right?
See ya later ;)